Dating: a game of coincidences or a path to yourself?
Dating: a game of coincidences or a path to yourself?
Blog Article
Dating: a game of coincidences or a path to yourself?
When we say "dating", the first thing that comes to mind is apps: swipes, profiles, photos, template phrases. But if you dig deeper and read the articles on the site https://www.sofiadate.com/dating-advice/online-dating-guys-to-avoid , dating is not about interfaces. It's about us. About how we seek intimacy, how we meet, open up, make mistakes, leave and come back. It's about people, about desires, about fears. And in this context, dating is one of the most honest mirrors of modern culture.
Why do we go on dating at all?
To find a partner? Sometimes. Often - to feel that we are not alone. That someone is interested in us. That in this noisy and fast world there is at least one person who wants to know us.
We open a profile not only because we are lonely, but also because we want to be noticed. We are looking for a look that will linger. A question that has real interest behind it. A message that makes you want to answer not out of politeness, but because you want to.
Dating is a need to be in contact. But the paradox is that with the development of technology, contact has become easier - and real connections are rarer.
The illusion of choice
When the choice is endless, we stop appreciating a specific person. We become selective to the point of paranoia: "too banal", "strange smile", "not the type". We cross out people faster than we have time to get to know them. And it's not about high standards - it's about fatigue from searching.
The brain quickly gets used to the "mechanics of choice", but feelings do not. They need time, depth, silence between words. And this is often lacking in dating. We are either in a hurry, or afraid, or playing roles.
How not to get lost?
This is what helps you stay afloat:
Accept that dating is a path. Not every contact has to end in a relationship. It is not a failure if you just do not get along.
Don't lie to yourself. If you want ease, look for it. If you want something serious, don't be shy about it. And don't be afraid to sound "too honest."
Take care of your attention. No need to have dozens of dialogues for the sake of politeness. One live conversation is better than five on-duty ones.
Trust your body. If you feel heavy, anxious, bored, it is not a coincidence. It is a signal: something is not yours.
Don't measure yourself by someone else's silence. Someone disappeared? It does not make you worse. They are just not your person.
About coincidences
We often look for similar interests: "I like to read, he does too", "I am an introvert, she does too." But true intimacy is not about matching hobbies. It is about the tone of communication, about the way to be close, about the ability to be in silence without feeling awkward. And you can't guess it in a profile.
Sometimes we spend years looking for someone who "fits all the parameters" - and feel nothing. And then we meet someone who is completely "not the type" - and suddenly something happens. An internal access opens. A conversation begins that you want to continue. There is a feeling that you are seen.
This is dating that works: not according to a script, but according to a feeling.
Ending without a period
Good dating is not ideal dates. It is not flowers on the first meeting and mismatched playlists. It is a dialogue. Interest. Simplicity. Sincerity. Attention. This is when you do not need to invent who to be in order to be liked. Because you already are - and that is enough.
And yes, dating can be tiring. It can cause despair. But it is still an opportunity. An opportunity to start. An opportunity to stop being afraid. The opportunity to hear: "I'm interested in you" - and feel: I missed this feeling too.
Because love is not in the profile. It is in real attention. And that means it still has a chance.